also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
