after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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