im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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