we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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