so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was like eating out sand paper
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
