i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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