they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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