in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I AM VODKA MAN
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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