I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
