Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
