Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
