you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
