We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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