Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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