I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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