just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
