he puts the penis in happiness.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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