i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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