oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
