at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
