I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
