Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
