How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
