Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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