We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
