This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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