When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
