bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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