I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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