Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there was a trapeze. enough said
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
