are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
