Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
