OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
