Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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