I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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