If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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