She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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