You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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