And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
