if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
