i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
