I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
