matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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