Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
