Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
