i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my poor anus
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
