Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
