The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
