Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
