Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
