I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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