you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
