No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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